My husband and I have been married for 35 years. He was a systems analyst for a major company (don’t ask me what that means) and I was a regulatory liaison for a large regional bank. He knew color, design, and technical procedures and I knew how to deal with the feds when they came to the banking institution examining various aspects of the bank. In other words, I was a people person, a mediator, and he was a technical wiz. We shared our evenings with our dogs and talked little about our stressful days.
We retired 16 years ago and suddenly we found ourselves getting to know each other's whims, talents, and idiosyncrasies. Of which there were and are still many. We are not very much alike. We soon found that we needed our own space.
Soon we designated a room for his office (which I don’t dare go in) and I elected a spare bedroom far enough away. It’s like living in another world as far as I’m concerned. We meet for lunch, dinner and evening movies. His interests lie in Artificial Intelligence. and mine are more creative and artistic. Hubby spends most of his day reading technical articles and designing circuits and Python programs. I spend my day in my craft room designing new patterns and quilts. My door is always open (mainly because I have a large quilt hanging on it and the door doesn’t close). I love to share my space with fellow artists and at the same time see theirs.
I have one rule that I enforce…………….be happy. In fact, I made an applique wall hanging which I display. It says “This is my happy space.” So in other words, don’t enter with your problems or start any fights. I sometimes play Monty Python's song in The Life of Brian, "Always look on the bright side of life."
I do share my space with my Great Danes. Max weighs 150 pounds and Sadie was 120. Both snooze on the floor and it is an obstacle course to make my way through it at the same time hoping they don’t get up before I find myself riding one of them. And yes, that has happened in the past as I so well remember.
His and her spaces have worked out well for us so far and I greatly recommend it to everyone.
Spaces may consist of a spare bedroom, garage, basement, or even a separate building. A telephone is optional. A computer is a must.
I’d like to share our spaces.
First is my husband’s: See the closed barn doors? I won’t take you inside for obvious reasons; mainly his housekeeping.
Mine has all the amenities -- computer, telephone, bright lighting, and tv so I can watch my DVR recorded sewing and quilting shows. Most of the time my room is a mess of fabric scraps and threads, but I clean it up after each project and definitely when I know someone is coming.
I love antique furniture and have them for storage.
I’m a fabric collector and I try my best to keep my fabric organized by color, theme, and season. Luckily I have a closet to store my finished quilts and supplies. On my walls, I display my old stitchery pieces from the 70s -- my earliest designs. I chose them as they remind me that one must be willing to start somewhere and then blossom.
Did you see my applique piece on the suitcases? It only moves when I have to remind someone to be happy. It’s well known and yes, my husband has stopped short of entering a few times. Mostly we get along great and I’m so lucky to have him as my IT consultant when things go wrong on my computer.
I’d love to visit everyone’s special space to see how they function. A painter, weaver, pottery maker, woodworker. We all have our specialties. Even if it is a designated reading room.
I just received a card from a dear friend that I feel is appropriate for me and I’d like to share it. “Our life is a work of art. We must seek always to be its artist. This world is more beautiful because of you.” by Kent Neburn
Enjoy your space. Make a mess. It’s yours.